1. |
Middle Age Conversation
03:08
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Sometimes I think about the things we used to talk about
When we were 17 and life was so profound
The words we used
the things we said that were so clever
It was the 80s and
we would all be young forever
Now that we’re older
Our lives have changed in many ways
But we haven’t forgotten about those early days
We carry with us the power of our early youth
Check out our conversations now if you need proof
Now we say:
I just installed a bidet
They had to pull more teeth
I haven’t slept in three nights
There’s something wrong with my knee
We repaved the driveway
It was less expensive than you’d think
Did you guys hear
that someone our age totally died?
What did he die of?
I think it was hereditary
I’m pretty sure that it wasn’t due to lifestyle
That means I don’t have to change my lifestyle
Who knows where this will lead tonight?
Our urine is dark and our hair is white
It’s all part of a middle aged conversation
It’s a middle aged convo
Calcium and multigrain
I have this one weird random pain
I’d kill a man for decent sleep
have you tried taking CBD
I just solved Wordle in two rounds
Check out this dumpling place I found
Who am I kidding, I can’t eat
Anything containing wheat
or dairy, sugar, and no sun
My whole life is devoid of fun
Probiotics and kombucha
If you want a decent poop
I’ve started to mix up my tenses
I had to get progressive lenses
Pay phones used to cost a dime
Why do I look like shit on FaceTime?
If I stay up til 2 or 3
It’s like someone backed over me
Tell me please in god’s name how
Can we be in our 50s now?
It’s all part of a middle aged conversation
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2. |
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1985
Alone in your room
Listening to him
Only he understood
You were misunderstood
By the world
That was years ago
What’s he up to now?
Scrolling around
I guess he’s still on tour
Oh wait what does this say about
Holy shit
He’s a racist now
What the actual fuck
I think I may need to lie down
How the hell can this be
He went from speaking for me
To white replacement theory
When your childhood hero
Turns out to be a full-blown asshole
When you reassess everything they did and said
It's the bitterest pill
It’s not as bad as Cosby but still
That’s what you get
For believing in people
Can I still enjoy
Their music now?
What are the rules?
Johnny Marr still seems cool
(He was the real talent anyway)
This makes no sense
There’s no context
His fan base is LatinX
This is way worse
than when he lied about not having sex
Why can’t he go back to
to the One I Can’t Have
Also This Charming Man and
Pretentious quotes from Oscar Wilde
Was he always racist
and shouldn’t we all have known?
I guess we’ll never be sure
But, hey, we’ve still got the Cure and Depeche Mode
When your childhood hero
Turns out to be a full-blown asshole
When you reassess everything they did and said
It's never gonna be okay
Fuck both him and Louis CK
That’s what you get
For believing in people
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3. |
Best American Rock Band?
03:16
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I got you something that’ll blow your mind
to rock your days and roll your nights
Oh, yeah
Can you name the greatest band
with these three parameters?
Oh, yeah
One! They have to rock
They’ve gotta be a band (Two!)
Not a solo act and
Three! They have to be American
You say whatever, just stand aside
But every great band that comes to mind
Won’t fit
Can’t be Beatles
Can’t be Zep’
Wait a second
Holy shit
Oh, no
Rolling Stones
Sabbath and the Who
Queen and Pink Floyd too
They all rock way better than we do
Rock Band
It was created in our back yard
Rock Band
It shouldn’t be so fucking hard
Who’s the Best American Rock Band?
Let’s talk contenders
Let’s give it a go
Journey? Boston?
No and no
Hell, no
Metallica
Maybe GNR
Or the Foo Fighters
No one really stands above the rest
Rock band!
Take a minute or take all day
who can ever seem to say
Who’s the best American rock band?
Why can’t we decide on it?
Didn’t we invent this shit?
Who’s the best American Rock Band?
Alright, let’s put your hands together while we break this down
What about AC/DC? (Australian)
Okay, then what about Rush? (Canadian)
Well, how about Bruce Springsteen? (Not a band)
Okay, then what about the Eagles? (…meh)
We could break this down all night
Maybe even have a fight
But no answer feels quite right
Rock Band!
If somebody made me pick
I’d probably go with Aerosmith
They’re the best American rock band
They’re the best American rock band
…Are they the best American rock band?
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Stephan Cox Issaquah, Washington
Stephan Cox is a member of Generation X and is currently enduring middle age.
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